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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Offically...I'm fine.

Well, sort of.  Byron is starting his journey and no, I won't tell you where because of OPSEC (Operational Security).  I'm learning about OPSEC (http://welcometotheblogofanarmywife.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-practice-opsec.html) and basically, it means don't discuss anything sensitive to anybody in anyway that might be overheard or read.  So, if you know where he is going, it's because I told you and if you wouldn't mind erasing any messages I sent that *might* have sensitive info in it, that'd be great.

Anyway, many of you know that when Byron and I were dating, he went overseas for 7 months.  We wrote letters and some emails, talked occasionally on the phone and it was tough.  Worth it, but tough.  This time, we have all kinds of technology and I'm grateful for that as well!  It sucks, deployment.  There is no better word for it, honestly.  I don't really like that word but really, deployment tends to suck the life out of you for about a week and then once you are *used to it*, it jumps up and reminds you to be sad for a day and then back to the grindstone! 

I love my husband.  Emma loves her Daddy.  She seems to be functioning pretty well.  We've prepared her as best we could, telling her Daddy will be gone for lots of days and we won't be able to touch him, but we'll be able to see him and talk to him on the 'puter (computer).  She seems like she's ok today, but I know she misses him and I'm sure the tough days for her are ahead. 

Yes, I'm sad.  Yes, I'm worried.  I'm glad he's not going to any of *those* places that CNN frequently discusses but I think about the wives/husbands whose spouses are in *those* places. I miss him terribly.  BUT, I think, in perspective of recent life events, we have it easy.  So many of our friends are hurting right now over diagnosis' they weren't supposed to get or situations that weren't supposed to happen.  I think about Blake and his parents every single day, many many times a day. I'm a little obsessive for that matter.  He's not my kid but he's one of my best friends' kids and I was there the day they brought him home and I've kissed his little head so many times I can't count.  I digress. I think about Byron and in comparison, we have it easy.  I don't want to complain or cry for that matter.  I don't like crying, it makes my head hurt and I can't breathe through my nose for days after I cry so I just let about 10 tears flow, wipe them off and get on with my life.  I don't like being sad, who does, really? 

Well, maybe someday you will be able to read the blog where I blow off some steam and yell and vent but it's not today.  I'm too...blah, bored, numb.  Thanks for the prayers.