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Friday, May 13, 2011

Where I confess...and a little about FHU

With moving time coming faster and faster, I've been praying a lot more lately.  I've always grown up knowing to pray and how to pray and going to a Christian college helped me grow spiritually.  I think somewhere between graduation and now, I've lost a little of my pathway to God.  It's not that I've veered off considerably or anything but not being constantly in a Christian environment changes a person, I think.  Maybe it's just me.  I always felt like FHU was a picture of what Heaven was going to be like because of the people I was surrounded by, the chapel singings, the fellowship, the fun.  I prayed a lot at FHU, sometimes out of joy and sometimes out of worry. 

I find myself praying out of nervousness and worry more now than then.  I've heard many of my friends say they have their faith because their parents had their faith and it's just what you did and one day, they realized they needed to be on their own path to God, instead of their parents path.  I think I'm just now, at 35 years old, figuring out how to get my path started.  Maybe it has more to do with Emma and wanting to lead her the right way and hoping she doesn't do the same things I've done in my life.  I have a big mouth and it gets me trouble, although much less trouble these days than when I was FHU.  I hope Emma is more like her Daddy :) 

I've never been the picture of the Virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, although I'd love to be.  I mean, I only became a better wife and mother after several years of working at it.  I never just fell right into the best wife or mother role without a lot of mistakes and working on it.  It's all caught up to me and I love it.  I want to do better and be better and I'm trying.  If you've never made a big change or haven't made a change lately to shake you out of your comfort zone, try it.  You might be surprised to see what happens.

Back to FHU, I love that place.  I love that many of the friends I knew then are now on Facebook and we can talk and be a little closer than we were then.  A very good friend of mine once told me she was "scared" to talk to me at FHU because I seemed very confident and very in control of everything around me.  I think I still have some confidence but I hope I'm a little nicer than I was then.  If I was rich woman, I would pay the tuition for any girl who wanted to attend FHU, only because of the joy I received from going there. 

I know I've rambled and this doesn't have much to do with the Navy or our family but I hope that my little rant will get me where I need to be in my Christian life, my role as a wife and mom and a better example.  Love you all!

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